A long, long day.

8:45 am Well I’m stuck in the hospital with no WiFi, and I’m writing this in Word. I down eating breakfast in the new cafeteria, which isn’t any better than the old one. I’m eating overcooked oatmeal and a nice fruit bowl. I’m also drinking a diet Pepsi, which is likely going to make me even sleepier than I already am. In fact, I’m going to lie down here on the banquette and sleep. Gran should wake me up when I need to get up...

12:15 pm Well, awesome news! The tumor is officially out, and everything looks good. I hate not being able to post this right away, but this is fine that I can still type it up while it’s still fresh. The surgeon said the tumor was the size of his fist (he has surgeon’s hands). He also said the pathology report was unclear. It is still inconclusive about whether the tumor is benign or malignant, but we should know for sure next week, when she has per first post-op appointment.

1:30 pm A pair of genderqueer persons came into the surgery waiting room. My grandpa was up at the counter when they were checking in. He came back over, saying, “Look at those boys!” obviously a bit excited that he had found these strange looking “boys.” I saw them and instantly could tell they were born to the assigned female sex, and I could also tell they were very androgynous, fitting neither gender slot, but rather what is known as “genderqueer.” I said that and my grandparents didn’t understand how someone can be neither gender…sigh. I think it’s wonderful that these two individuals are brave enough to be out in the world and proud of their chosen genders.

3:30 pm I finally got to go to Mom’s room, 129B, at around two. It’s a shared room, but the other person left and Mom requested to have a room alone so they said they will put this room last on the list to fill with a new patient…who knows how long that will last. I took Cooper out, who has been a trooper this week, having to spend all day Monday and all day today in the car in his kennel. So I took him out for a long walk and to play ball. He loves to play ball, inside or out, and he is so good because he will always bring back the ball (or the stick—his favorite). I feel bad for the mutt, but he’s being a trooper. Cooper the trooper…maybe a paratrooper. I don’t think he’s going to be skydiving anytime soon though. :) For now she is pain free and sleeping comfortably. I think I can make it awake through most of the night; although Gran is trying to wrestle me for the night here. I think we can talk about after class gets out, which should be interesting since I am completely exhausted.

6:30 pm I’m out of class early. My prof isn’t feeling well so she decided to let us to the rally for the same sex domestic partnership law, which was banned by an out-of-state before it could come into effect January 1. So people are headed down there to help rally for equal rights for all. If only we could get marriage ratified… I have a lot to do tonight. So perhaps it is good that I am out of class early and that I’m going to be up all night. I utterly exhausted because I slept so poorly today, but I should be able to recover by the time the weekend is over. Mom is talking softly and she can swallow light food like Jell-O. I’m headed back to the hospital, where I don’t have Internet connectivity. Why on earth would a hospital not have a public WiFi connection? Someone please explain that. Cheers to all and sorry for such a long post. A lot happened today.

Great news and semi-good news

GREAT NEWS!!!! I plead guilty to the hit and run charge and I got no jail time and a $400 fine which will be paid for by the company I was driving for. Also the charge of driving without a CDL was dismissed AND if I keep my nose clean for 12 months the hit and run charge will be deferred (i.e., dismissed and removed from my criminal record). So I was extremely excited and then came the daunting sleepiness, so much so that I had to have Mom drive part of the way home. And, boy, did I sleep hard last night!

Semi-good news... Last post, I mentioned something about Josh's and my relationship taking a different turn. He's rapidly falling for me, but I am lacking the emotional and intellectual connection that I think every relationship needs. I asked to move it to just a friendship, and he understood fully. However, I'm not sure if I will ever develop love for him, and I know he will be hurt very much by that. I did warn him that I may not. We have some differences that may not work out in the long run, but for now I decided to stay friends with him (no more boyfriends) and we can have a little fun on the side, simply because our physical chemistry is pretty hot. So good (I hope) friends with benefits. I enjoy his company and he's pretty fun, but we're no longer "exclusive" as it were. I felt really bad, but he seemed to take it in stride. Although I know his feelings have to be hurt even just a little. Who knows? Maybe it will develop into something more, but I'm not counting out other people at this point. It is fun, so I definitely think we should stay friends. I enjoy his company and he, mine.

I've got to focus on discovering me at this point, and adding another man to equation wasn't the best idea for now. I think that's part of the reason I've been so stressed. I know it's silly, but I am young and spreading my wings. It is refreshing to have someone like me and like him back. We get along quite well and having a good friend is more important than having a lover/boyfriend in my opinion. Plus we are willing to have fun once in a while. :D

A steady weekend for a very unsteady week to come

The weekend was somewhat restful. I got some rest in, some homework done, and some time with Josh. The weekend was rather restful, but the coming week is going to be hell. So tomorrow, I have to get ready for court. I am supposed to go before the judge at 1:00 pm in Aberdeen, Washington. If you pray please do so at that time PST. I don't know what to expect except what I have seen on Law and Order, but then that's a bit of a false pretense. I know that it won't be so difficult, and I'm hoping that the cop who wrote my ticket isn't there, because if that's the case they will throw out my case (and I'll be forever grateful).

Also this week my mom is going in for surgery to have a (we hope) benign tumor removed from her neck. She has had a hell of a time with this thing and we both will be extremely happy that it will be gone. One very possible risk is vocal cord damage. Since she's a singer, that can pose a serious problem to her creative outlet. So Wednesday morning at 8:00 am please keep her in her thoughts and prayers.

On top of all this I still must attend classes and do my homework, which wouldn't be a problem except that Cooper is driving me insane. I absolutely adore him, but he is just too much a commitment for me at the moment. He's adorable and very lovable, but he can be quite annoying since he doesn't sleep though the night yet and he has to be taken out about once every 30 minutes or else he pisses on the floor. I know as he grows he'll get better (he's only 11 weeks as of today), but the process of him growing larger and more adultlike is almost too much for me to handle right now. It's not fair for him for me to not be able to give him my full attention like he needs. He's almost kennel trained, and nearly housebroken (except that I must watch him all the time because he won't always tell me he needs to go out). He can be most annoying at night because he doesn't sleep though the night yet. It makes my sleep patterns a bit erratic, which my doctor tells me is bad for my mental state (and I agree). It's almost like taking care of a child, except the dog will always be reliant on me for everything. Ugh...

Also, I've decided to take a different turn with Josh. More to come on that, but not until I have discussed it with him. Out of respect for his privacy, I won't share more here without his permission, but let's just say it's not what either of us was expecting.

All right it's extremely late, and I have to be up in less than four hours. What a way to go in to my court session....sigh...

Thursday comes...and goes, as well

Well another Thursday has come and gone, and that means that my week of classes is done. I am happy that it's over for now. I have much homework to do this weekend. I did yoga last night before I went to bed. It's been a while since I've done yoga, and I was extremely tense. I carry most of my tension and stress in my lower back I've discovered, so I spend much of my time relaxing a stretching those muscles. My hamstrings are also very tense, so I'm working on getting those less tense as well. I find that each day as I let go more and more, my body becomes more flexible and it becomes easier to find my center and drop all of my tension out of my body and into the floor. Deep, easy breathing is the key; knowing your body and how to relax is very important.

I have also been a bad boy. I have forgotten to take my meds for the past two days. (I took it tonight, thank god.) My mood has been fairly steadily decreasing. I haven't been taking it regularly for the past week. And as you may know, these kinds of medications need to be taken at the same time each day in order to work properly. So my mood has suffered because of my neglect. So this weekend I plan on taking it each morning at a regular time. I am going to take some much needed away time this weekend. If only I had a tent. I would go to a campground (yes even in these subfreezing temperatures) and have myself a quiet weekend away from it all. But I can't do that. I do however need a night off from my dog. Josh and I decided that we're going to take it easy this weekend. We don't need a break per se, but I need time away from everything. He says no contact until Monday morning, but I don't thing either of us can hold out that long. I may end up playing World of Warcraft with him on Sunday with his fag hag Liz (or as he calls her, Bingy). But absence makes the heart grow fonder as that damn cliché goes. Even though clichés are overused, the meaning behind them is often truer than we often give credit.

So for this weekend: I won't be blogging, I am not talking to Josh after 4:00 pm Friday, I am going to escape from Cooper for a few hours to get some "me" time, and I'm going to work on some homework. Also on Saturday I have a meeting for my Sexual Minorities Youth class at SMYRC, which is a phenomenal organization targeting sexual minority youth. It's a safe house for LGBT youth in Portland. They even have a prom each year for these exceptional young people who are brave enough to come out. It's awesome that there are places like this. If I had know of this place as a teenager I would have grown into my own sexually perhaps a bit faster, but then I wouldn't have the experiences that I have now. So for a "relaxing" weekend, it's going to be pretty busy. Such is life, but I can't sweat the small stuff. Here's to a wonderful, relaxing weekend.

gay skate--among other things

Monday night was awesome. Josh came over for dinner, and I made chicken fajitas. We went to Oaks Park for Gay Skate. It was fabulous because we could be affectionate in a public place and it was acceptable...not that that's stopped us before. It's not like we maul each other in public, but (straight) people generally don't like to see gay PDA. It was a blast. I can't skate to save my life, but Josh was there to help out. I ended up falling only twice, and of course Josh was there to help me get up both times. After our evening skating, he took me home and we went for a walk in sub-freezing temperatures. I had to take Cooper out for a nice long evening walk to tucker him out, and Josh in his wonderfulness came with me. I let him wear my Dockers tuque, which he still has and says it smells like me. I may not be getting it back for quite some time....hehe.

Tuesday evening, I went to my first class and then skipped my art history class to go to a screening of Ballot Measure 9 at the Q Center, which was an encore showing of it from about two weeks ago because it was too full. I would like to go see the next one, but it is on a Thursday night and I can't skip anymore classes! I thoroughly enjoyed the film. It showed some very antigay opinions that I'm sure still exist today in Oregon and even around Portland. It's very scary that even a fairly liberal state has so many people opposed to gay rights. The OCA's claim was that gays were slated to get "special right" as opposed to equal rights. The truly scary part about the wording of the measure was that it exactly reflected what anti-black laws said not 50 years before. Thankfully, the measure did not pass, but a very similar one in Colorado did, which prompted a shocking 500% increase in gay hate crimes within a few months of it's ratification. Amazing and disgusting. It is really quite sad that there are people in this world who hate their fellow humans so deeply--and sickening. God help us all as people are getting more aggressive about acquiring equal rights.

I met Josh again tonight, we had dinner together at Quiznos Sub, and had a little fun in his car. That man can kiss. Amazing. It's always a pleasure to be with him. Then we had to part because I had to get to class, and we chatted online for a while. He decided he would renew my World of Warcraft account. I told him not to pay for it so he didn't. Apparently he had a WoW gift card and used that, which i don't like, but he was sweet and wanted to play with me. It was really nice to play with him on my account and not Mom's. That way she can play with us also. She wants to get to know him, and this is a good way to do that.

Well, I'm off to do some much needed yoga. I haven't practiced for quite a while and I need to release my tension in my lower back. Stretch and release tension and pressure. Staff pose and child pose are the best. But the most effective pose for me is extended staff pose (legs out) while turning to the side with my torso. I place my hand behind me and put the other hand on my thigh and twist, with each exhalation extending further. It pulls all the muscles into alignment and relaxes them

Another day, another day...

Now I am actually in a good mood, even though my title seems a little down. I have a LOT going on right now, so I'm really overwhelmed. Two weeks ago, winter term at Portland State began. Also that week I got a new puppy. I was dealing with my newly acquired tickets from Aberdeen, and mentally preparing for my Monday court date. In addition, my mom's health is getting worse, and she is becoming increasingly worried as her surgery next Wednesday approaches (though I can't say I'm not worried, I tend to internalize it while she vocalizes which makes me think about it more often).

More pointedly, I recently acquired a new man. He is amazing, even though he doesn't see it. I am exploring myself in new ways that I've never felt. I like it, but there are parts that confuse me. I am going to talk to him more about some key issues. I think we need to talk about some issues before we both become too attached--and we're both very attached as it is.

So there is a lot of stress when there shouldn't be. Well, it's well past midnight and I may just sleep on the couch because I'm trying to kennel train Cooper, and I may not hear him cry out if he needs to go out tonight. Who knew puppies were so demanding and stressful....and expensive, but that's another story for another day. Another day...

Blogging...and not so much

So I had a decent weekend. It was bittersweet, simply because I really enjoyed spending time with Josh, but that time was spoiled by bad news about my mom's health.

If I didn't say already, Josh asked me to be his boyfriend officially. I am looking forward to getting to know Josh more. I think we have very different ideas about a lot of things, so it could be a challenge. But what is the fun of anything without a challenge, right? We click physically, but that's not the only part of a relationship. Since this is my first serious boyfriend, this should be a very interesting new part of my life. I think the most important part of being with someone is expanding both of each other's experiences.

So for now I want to get to know Josh, and be his good friend. I want to find out everything I can about him. I want to explore him not just physically, but mentally and philosophically also. And if this ever ends I don't want us to leave the same. I hope to leave with both of us better people. I hope this works out though, because I really like him now. I just hope that it can stay alive as time goes on. And it should if we both groove on each other's differences. One such difference is that he is a homebody (and yes I am too) but I want to live around the world. Not just travel, but live and immerse myself in other cultures completely. He says he likes it in the Pacific Northwest, although we both share the same dislike for the Portland Metro area. So we'll see how it plays out. It should be fine, because in every relationship there is always compromise. And I may feel different once I move out of Portland. I do like Seattle quite a bit.

It all happens at once, doesn't it?

When the shit hits the fan, it makes one big shitty mess. No joke.

The weekend started wonderfully. I spent the evening with Josh, and he met my mother briefly. We went to see Cloverfield, which neither of us liked the ending of because the story never finished. We went back to Josh's place for the night and I got to sleep (yes, we actually slept) with him in his bed. It was a first for both of us really. It was weird sleeping with a bed hog, and he is one--I even had to tell him to move his ass over once in the night. The hard part about the night was sleep. I don't want to waste any time I have with him. Nothing sexual happened, it was just hard to keep from touching him all night, which kept us both up for a while. We got up and had a lazy day together, watching DVDs and fooling around a little here and there. We ended up taking a nap together around 2:30 or so and slept for a few hours. He's not out to his dad yet, whom he lives with, and there was a risk for him coming home with us being together, so we had to pack it up and get back to my place.

Around 5:30, I decided to check my phone to see if anyone had called me. It turns out my family was trying to contact me all afternoon. And they we worried. That's a gross understatement, but it turns out my mom, who has been having health issues, went to the hospital because she was having trouble breathing. She had gotten a call from her doctor Friday night before we went to the movie, saying that her condition is worsening faster than it should be. She has a tumor on her right thyroid lobe, it has started to grow aggressively in the past month or so. She had a biopsy done on it in December, but it was inconclusive as to whether it was cancerous or not. So we're obviously concerned about her, but she thinks that my infatuation with Josh is making me care less about her health. I agree that I'm not paying as much attention to her as usual, but she is not the only one on my life now. I have her, the puppy, Josh, and school and starting next week even more actively seeking work.

The part that really overwhelmed me was when Mom started to go through her list of things that she wanted my cousins to have if she died. She's not even 40 yet and she's talking about her death like it's going to happen. Needless to say, I bawled like a baby for about an hour or so. I was so wrought with grief in knowing that she may die. But I refuse to believe she has cancer. I refuse to give up hope.

In the end, a bunch of feelings were hurt, but Josh (who officially became my boyfriend this weekend), was wonderful through it all, supporting me with everything. I just want to snuggle up next to him and fall asleep to the sound of his breath and his heart beating softly in his chest. How wonderful that I found someone so awesome! He's not perfect by any means (and neither am I) but he's good for me. And for now that's all that matters.

Awesome awesomeness

I have only known Josh for a week, but already he is wonderful. We really like each other. I mean really like each other. While I am new to this, it's so natural. When I went out with girls, it was so awkward. I didn't know what to do or how, but with Josh it's all natural. It just flows. There are awkward moments, of course, but it's all good. He is just awesome. I know I'm being silly, but I am in serious like with him. I plan to stay at his house tonight; while I don't think anything will happen, I think that spending the night with someone is very intimate. We'll see what happens though... hehe.

We are going to see Cloverfield tonight. I'll tell you....later....how it is--if I'm not completely distracted! LOL. Here's to a wonderful night.

It's been long, wonderful week.

I have just had the best week of my life. Not only did i get another unexpected $600 in financial aid, which is enough to pay my bills this month, but I have gotten to know my puppy more and he's 99% housebroken! I also met this amazing man this weekend. and we hit it off quite well. We first saw each other on Sunday and again tonight. We decided that we want to see each other again tomorrow. We also made plans for this weekend. We just hit it off so well. We met at McMennamin's and had dinner there on Sunday. We walked around downtown for a while and decided to go back to his place and play his Nintendo Wii. I will say no more, but let's say we are very compatible. And I'm sure he's reading this so I can't tell anything. Hehe.

My dog is wonderful. He is the most adorable, most well-behaved puppy ever. He's a little mouthy now; he's learned how to bark! So he gets in trouble for that and for biting....and chasing the cat. He doesn't want to attack Sam, just play, but Sam wants nothing to do with Cooper. The funny part is that when Cooper is sleeping, Sam will lie on the floor next to him and play with his huge puppy ears. Of course, Cooper wakes up and commences to want to play with Sam. Since Labradors have a very long puppy stage (up to 2 years), Cooper might be that way for quite a while.

Classes are interesting, I suppose. I am really enjoying my Sexual and Gender Minority Youth Class. We are going to volunteer at SMYRC this term. If it clicks with me, I'll continue to volunteer on a regular basis. I am also having a good time of Linguistics, but last week was canceled. The book is interesting... Art history is dreadful, but it's all common sense really. I don't have to really do much but listen, but I have to get to reading outside texts or I'm going to fall behind...

Well, here's to another fabulous week, and I hope that I will post more often.

slap me now

Okay, bitches, you need to slap this homo!!!!! I am having thoughts of wearing matching sweaters with Cooper! OMG I am so gay. Slap me now, slap me NAO!!!!! I won't do it...I won't do it....I won't do it!

Haha. I'm wired and I'm going to bed. I'll tell my adventures of going to classes though, which are Intro to Linguistics and History of Western Art (Romanesque to Rococo). Happy joy...not so much. Linguistics is going to be fun because it's a science and I love science. Art history is going to be hell. Well, I can't say that for sure. The professor is this meek older woman with silver hair and wears nondescript glasses who seems nice enough. The only problem is that she is so soft spoken and the PA system in the classroom doesn't work well (when do they ever, really?). So I'm going to have to make an effort to sit in front, which can't offend anyone since I'm so short...Oh and in that class there's this guy who came in late and sat in front of me with the best shoulders. Maybe I'm just so desperate that any guy, gay or straight, is making me horny. It actually took some effort to resist the urge to reach out and grab him. But somethin' tells me he wouldn't have taken too kaindlay to that. (I'm tired; forgive me.) I have to get out this week. I can't go back to my therapist on Friday without having made an effort to be social. Ugh why does the Portland gay scene have to be about drinking and drinking only. Maybe I'll join the Portland Gay Men's Chorus. I love singing and I need a creative outlet since I'm not taking a creative class this term....wow what a tangent. Fuckin' streams of consciousness...

And tomorrow is just going to repeat Monday. How boring is that? With a new puppy, it can't be all that bad. At least I can go jogging with the pup and tucker him out so he can sleep through the night again. Yay he slept all night last night. Poor pup. Today I was going to walk to the bank, but it was rainy and cold and windy. Coop was shivering because he's so thin from his last owners. (That's why I was thinking of getting matching argyle sweaters for us.) But needless to say, I got a quarter of a mile from home and decided that I couldn't make him walk the two miles or so in the cold and wet, all while being freaked out by the roaring four-wheel drives in Oak Grove...but that's another issue altogether. I think we're taking him kennel shopping tomorrow night at PetSmart or PetCo. There's this really nice one there that's collapsible. But then there's this one at Target that's half the price and looks really similar. Gots to shop around though, especially since I have a ton of books to buy and only $150 bucks to get $300 or so of them...Thank God for the library.

Here's to tomorrow.

Puppy, work, classes, etc...

Yesterday afternoon, my cousin Nicole and ex-boyfriend–now–just–friend Nathan, called and asked if we wanted a puppy. I said sure, and they came over to give us the pup, an adorable Labrador-Blue Heeler mix. He's all black with white feet (all four) and white markings on his face and chest. He's so mellow and cute. Only eight weeks old, he is a handful, super clingy like most puppies are when separated from the litter too soon. He's not housebroken yet, so we're working on that one...close watching is required to prevent him from doing things in the house. We were going to call him Jasper, but that didn't fit him. I went to my grandmother's house, and she suggested Cooper. It stuck. It's perfect for him. Plus, it's an awesome name. When I take him to the dog park and some hot guy asks what his name is, "Cooper" is extremely awesome. Thanks Granna!

Some of the bad things about him is that he isn't housebroken yet, he is teething so he's chewing on everything—seriously everything—he doesn't sleep through the night yet, and our cat, Sam, is freaking out. Our cat is a Siamese, but with an extremely amiable temperament. He's about eight years old and set in his ways. He is really upset about this new addition. He even vomited today on Mom's silk brocade bed spread. He's shedding profusely, and he won't come anywhere near Cooper. I feel horrible for him, and I've decided that if Sam doesn't adjust within the week, then we can't keep the puppy. :( Oh well, I don't know if I'll be in love with him so much if he doesn't learn to sleep through the night.

So I've got a pseudo-job. The company I drove for last Friday is hiring me on to help finish cleaning up the paint shop. It's not too difficult, and it pays thirteen bucks an hour. I really don't like blue collar labor, but you gotta do the icky stuff to get to do the fun stuff later on. Plus, I can take Cooper there, no problem, except that my supervisor has an adult dog that usually comes to work with him. I don't know how Cooper will react to the new dog; I may be keeping Coop in the car if he reacts badly since the other dog tends to like to bite.

Ah I went to my first class today. I have just one class on Monday, Sexual and Gender Minority Youth. My professor is nice, and she really has passion for LGBTQIAP issues. If any more letters get added to the acronym, it's going to be out of control—if it's not already. Heh. I'm taking the class so I know what's out there for me. I'm not a "youth" per se, but I am newly out and not sure where to start in the Portland queer scene. So this will help familiarize me with the LGBT youth community, which can lead to knowing more about the adult community. The Portland Q Center seems like a good resource, but there aren't many event's that sound particularly interesting. I don't do the drinking/partying scene so my options are kinda limited in Portland. If only I could find a place where the gay intellectuals are....

Well, Monday is over and I'm utterly exhausted. Yoga tonight was refreshing and relaxing, I felt like I could have kept on doing it for an hour or so. I'm just that tense. Strangely, I carry much of my tension in my abdomen and lower back.

A horrible Friday...and drab Saturday

Hmmmm, it's been a long past two days. So this post may end up being super long. So if you don't want to read, don't; otherwise...carry on. As in my last post, I was driving a truck yesterday. I drove to Aberdeen, Washington, to drop off a job box. Which was fine, but I got confused and tried to turn around somewhere that was too tight (just barely). I thought I just grazed a tree so I moved along, trying to finish the delivery. I went down the highway, and I was pulled over by the local police a few miles out. He said I had hit someone, and I was really surprised by that. I wouldn't have left the scene had I known I'd hit another vehicle. He had me turn around and go back into town. I noticed on my way back that my load had come loose on two connections. I got back to the scene and realized that I had barely grazed a parked semi and knocked off a good chunk of tree. I think the diesel must have been groaning so loudly that I didn't hear any of that. After a few hours of being talked to by both the local police and the county sheriff, I was notified that I was not licensed to be driving the rig I was driving. It is rated for 30,000 pounds gross weight, and a normal Class C license is only up to 16,000 pounds or something like that. This part really pisses me off because I asked my employers twice if I was licensed to drive the truck.

So, I was charged with 3 law violations: driving without proof of insurance (which I'm not paying the $550 ticket for), hit and run (which is a criminal charge, and I hope that the judge will see that I didn't realize I'd hit anything), and driving a commercial vehicle without proper licensing (which is criminal also for some reason). Also the company I was driving for was charged for improper securing of the load, which is only a $124 ticket for something that puts many people including myself at risk for serious injury or death, compared to my uninsured ticket of over 500......When the tow truck came, the operator said that I was lucky I didn't get killed. So I have a court date for January 28 all the way back in friggin Aberdeen. Let's hope the judge will see my side of the story. I don't believe myself to be guilty of a hit and run, since I had no knowledge of hitting anyone. Let's just say that no matter what happens in the future, I am always going to get out and double and triple check the situation before I get on with my day.

All I have to say is FUCK!!!!!! That was just a shitty day and I slept for 14 hours last night because it was so stressful.

Well in other news.... (I'll keep it bulleted from here out)

• My date is chickening out on me because I don't have relationship experience and he's ready to settle down....at 21.
• I'm gearing up to get back to school on Monday.
• I'm still looking for a part time job. Although the university bookstore is hiring for their tech center, which sounds kinda fun.
• I put a purple streak in the front of my hair, but you can't see it because my hair is already dark....
• I am tired from yesterday.
• And I'm hungry and going to get some food right after I proof read and post this entry...

I hope your Saturday is wonderful. I might go out for the evening, but I don't have any money so there's no point. Lalalala. I may just stay in and jerk off a few times. Although it'd be more fun with someone else...hehe. Just say "no" to Craigslist! :D

I might have a date...

I know Craigslist can be dangerous, but I think I might have found a cool guy on there. Not looking for sex...wow. I mean I want sex, but not with some ho on Craigslist.... He's pretty cute, and I want to go out to First Thursday tonight with him. Seems like a good first time out. We may end up being just friends, which is just fine with me. Yay to me getting out there.

I have a job to drive truck tomorrow. I'm going to Aberdeen, Washington to deliver some stuff--at 13 an hour. Awesome, but I always feel so gross after driving so long. I have to jog after. All right now for more online applications. And to make a few very necessary phone calls. Ugh I hate talking on the phone. Have a great Thursday everyone!

NO MORE DRINKING!!!!

Yay!!! it's 2008 and I'm still here!!!!!! w00t! I'm terribly bored on the first day of the new year, but all is well. I got not drunk last night, but sick from a drink and a half. I'm a wuss and a half to go with my drink and a half. Serve with fondue, and voilà! a recipe for disaster. I think I had too much rich food for dinner, and then drank too fast because fuckin' Tim Gunn of Project Runway made me drink twice every time he said "Make it work" or "Gather 'round." On top of that, when Heidi Klum said "auf Wiedersehen" we drank two swallows. Also we picked three words (fashion, fabric, and Tim) that we had to take a sip on. Well I drank an amaretto sour and half of one in under an hour, and for someone who never drinks, that was too much. I got really sleepy, a headache, and I threw up a little. It was fun because I was happy, but a little ill from it.

In other news. I spoke with someone I met on MySpace last night online until his parents came in on him (he is legal, 19). We had a candid conversation about life and what is happening. He is not out except to a few select people, for fear that he will lose financial support from his parents. It's so sad that in this world that there are still parents who treat their children this way. But like I told him, he never knows what their reaction will be until he tries it. Though it may be wise until he gets out of the umbrella of his folks' W2 and FAFSA issues. I know that can be a hassle.

Speaking of FAFSA and financial shit, my aid for this term still has not been processed. I'm calling PS fucking U tomorrow to chew them out about it. They said December 28th and it was a no go. I have to pay rent people! Sigh. Now to prepare my résumé and fill out a few apps online. Whole Foods, here I come!