It all happens at once, doesn't it?

When the shit hits the fan, it makes one big shitty mess. No joke.

The weekend started wonderfully. I spent the evening with Josh, and he met my mother briefly. We went to see Cloverfield, which neither of us liked the ending of because the story never finished. We went back to Josh's place for the night and I got to sleep (yes, we actually slept) with him in his bed. It was a first for both of us really. It was weird sleeping with a bed hog, and he is one--I even had to tell him to move his ass over once in the night. The hard part about the night was sleep. I don't want to waste any time I have with him. Nothing sexual happened, it was just hard to keep from touching him all night, which kept us both up for a while. We got up and had a lazy day together, watching DVDs and fooling around a little here and there. We ended up taking a nap together around 2:30 or so and slept for a few hours. He's not out to his dad yet, whom he lives with, and there was a risk for him coming home with us being together, so we had to pack it up and get back to my place.

Around 5:30, I decided to check my phone to see if anyone had called me. It turns out my family was trying to contact me all afternoon. And they we worried. That's a gross understatement, but it turns out my mom, who has been having health issues, went to the hospital because she was having trouble breathing. She had gotten a call from her doctor Friday night before we went to the movie, saying that her condition is worsening faster than it should be. She has a tumor on her right thyroid lobe, it has started to grow aggressively in the past month or so. She had a biopsy done on it in December, but it was inconclusive as to whether it was cancerous or not. So we're obviously concerned about her, but she thinks that my infatuation with Josh is making me care less about her health. I agree that I'm not paying as much attention to her as usual, but she is not the only one on my life now. I have her, the puppy, Josh, and school and starting next week even more actively seeking work.

The part that really overwhelmed me was when Mom started to go through her list of things that she wanted my cousins to have if she died. She's not even 40 yet and she's talking about her death like it's going to happen. Needless to say, I bawled like a baby for about an hour or so. I was so wrought with grief in knowing that she may die. But I refuse to believe she has cancer. I refuse to give up hope.

In the end, a bunch of feelings were hurt, but Josh (who officially became my boyfriend this weekend), was wonderful through it all, supporting me with everything. I just want to snuggle up next to him and fall asleep to the sound of his breath and his heart beating softly in his chest. How wonderful that I found someone so awesome! He's not perfect by any means (and neither am I) but he's good for me. And for now that's all that matters.