Friday night---alone yet again

My mom and I--we seem to be joined at the hip, which my counselor tells me is unhealthy--went to the mall today after I went to my counselor's appointment. We talked about getting out more, which is still being avoided, even after many talks with him. I talk about getting out and about, but I never do it. So next Friday, I'm going out to have coffee at Haven on Division (thanks Lewis!). Also I'm looking for a gay New Years party to hit up, so if you all know any, please tell me or invite me!

We--my mom and I--went shopping today at the mall. I bought a book at Barnes and Noble about being gay on campus. So I hope to be more plugged in on campus next term, that way I can meet people who know what I'm going through and to help me adjust to my new-found self. Also I got this super cute red thermal hoodie pullover that's a bit longer (comes to my upper thigh) for $30. I love it. It's so comfy and I can wear it so many different ways.

After that we went a movie, The Golden Compass with Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig. It was a wonderful movie, which I saw in clear high definition projection. Absolutely gorgeous. Let's hope the movies to follow are as good. (Although I know from a good source that the movie adaptation leaves something to be desired from the books, which is nearly always the case in any cinematic adaption.) The best part of movie aside from the immense CG world, was Nicole Kidman's character's wardrobe--stunning to say the least. In fact the costumer for the entire production was fabulous. I was extremely pleased with the production of the movie. Green screen acting has to be the hardest thing to do, but actors do it so well these days, it's just incredible.

Tonight was my second night of yoga, quite refreshing and relaxing. It doesn't make me tired, but I feel relaxed and centered. I am at peace with my unconscious--something I have not ever felt before. I can sit here and type this entry with a calm mind, not worrying about what happened today or what may or may not come tomorrow. So peacefully I go to bed--although I have many things to talk about--but I have to get up early tomorrow to clean house so my cousins, Kira, 8, and Maddy, 5, can come wreck it again! :D Well good night blogosphere. Thanks to my faithful readership. In peace.

Content

There's a storm happening in Portland. It's cold outside, but I'm safe in my house. My room is a sanctuary and today I made it my own place. It's still a mess, but I have things where I want them for the most part. The next thing I need is either a place to put my TV or to get rid of the big black eye (or eyesore really). Then after that I need a comfy chair where I can sit and read or study. Some thing like a round ottoman with a half-back on it that just lets you sink down deep in the cushions.

For Christmas I got $50 in gift certificates for Fred Meyer, a local grocery store connected to Kroger's. So I got a new computer game (Caesar IV, which is kinda boring but I may get into it in a bit) and new computer speakers. I was going to get jeans, but Fred Meyer jeans are Levis (which are good but I have too many already) and Wrangler and Lee--EWWWWWW!!!! I need me some GAP or Banana Republic Jeans. I'd really like some Diesel jeans, but I'm not about to spend $200 on a couple yards of denim. They should make the jeans cheaper for shorties, but we all know that will never happen; if anything they will make them more expensive because they often must be specially tailored for my super short 28-inseam :O But being 5'6" isn't all that hard. You learn to adapt; my legs are very strong and tippy toes are a very viable option for all situation, as is jumping for things that may be out of reach. HAHAHA. I'm so short. But I'm getting more comfortable with myself.

I am content with me. I was telling my therapist that I feel the most free I have ever felt. I don't have to hide anything from anyone. I just want to get out there and have a fun and interesting life. I am going to try to get to be a more outdoorsy type person. I like to camp, and I think that getting away from my laptop every few weeks to spend some quiet time away will be healthy. Being able to love yourself is key in order for you to be able to love others, and for others to love you. More later, but for now I'm happy with me and what I am becoming as a man.