I stayed up late last night. It was four in the morning but right now it's six in the morning and I'm not even tired. Well I am a bit tired, nothing like you'd think. For a person with a normally working brain, chemicals monitor when a person becomes tired. But for someone experiencing bipolar mania, those chemical cues don't happen. Synapses misfire or a person in a manic sense interprets the synaptic input differently than someone of a normally functioning brain. Of course normal is relative, but when it inhibits my interaction with the world around me it is considered a disabling condition. So I lie here on the sofa watching television and messing around on the Internet on my iPod, trying to calm my raucous mind down someway while at the same time knowing that if I sleep now my entire day will go away. I will likely sleep until three or four in the afternoon.
Well, yesterday I went to my therapist. I've decided to move forward in my therapy and to dig deeply to figure out the root to many of my issues. While much of it is private I'll try to share what I feel comfortable sharing. Until then, I'm going to try to live my life to the best of my ability.
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